


Up Next On The Call-Out List

by dinolaur



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 11:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4958659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinolaur/pseuds/dinolaur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A viral video challenge catches the Avengers' attention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Up Next On The Call-Out List

**Author's Note:**

> Remember that ALS ice challenge? Forgot I never got around to posting this

“So what is this thing,” Tony asks. Normally he doesn’t pay attention to all the things he gets tagged in online. Despite how full of himself some people think he is—and all right, fine, he is fairly full of himself—there is just too much out there for him to see every tweet and tag and youtube or whatever celebrity gossip rag. He can’t possibly see it all and still have time left in the day to do anything else.

But he does have JARVIS alert him when those tags come from people he knows.

“ALS ice bucket challenge,” Rhodey answers. “Where have you been? These things are going viral. Everyone is doing it.”

Tony glances over to the mess of scrap metal and wires to his right that he has been buried under for the better part of three days and snaps at Dum-e, “Hey, hey, stop that. What’s the matter with you? I take my eyes off my work for five seconds and you’re fucking shit up. How many times do I have to threaten to donate you?”

Rhodey arches a brow. “Unsurprising,” he comments. “Anyway, you have—“ He checks his watch. “—six hours.”

“Until what?”

“It’s a timed challenge,” Rhodey explains. “You get called out, you have twenty-four hours to dump a bucket of ice water on your head and donate ten dollars or you have to donate a hundred. It’s about raising awareness.”

“Dumping a bucket of ice on your head sounds ridiculous,” Tony replies haughtily.

“Oh shut up and make your video.”

``

Tony isn’t sure how Pepper knows he is about to do this challenge—he suspects JARVIS—but she shows up just as he dumps a bag of ice into a bucket. She grins widely and hurries over to heave it up to her shoulder. “This is the best day of my life,” she says.

“That is cruel,” Tony responds and waves his hand for You to start rolling.

Pepper cackles gleefully as she dumps the bucket over him, and Tony would like to say that he doesn’t shriek, but it’s all caught on the camera. Vital parts of him retract, probably completely into his body, and he knows that they will never trust him again for the rest of his life.

He shakes violently and points at the camera. “That was awful, and I am so glad I get to make someone else go through it too. I’m calling out Steve Rogers, and I expect the appropriate jokes to accompany his response. Also Bruce Banner, and I do not apologize for the resulting property damage.”

``

Captain America’s responding video is one big pun about the frozen Arctic, blizzards, and popsicles, and Tony is not disappointed for even a second.

Steve calls out Bucky, who accidentally has more hits than any of the rest of them. Through the entire video Bucky just stands there still and stoic with probably his biggest grump face to date, and he doesn’t flinch even as Steve overturns a bucket on him. Sam, half on the screen laughing, shrieks when Bucky suddenly grabs an extra bucket and throws it in his face.

“What the hell, man,” Sam screams, scrambling to take off his shirt. “You’re supposed to challenge me!”

“You were here; the bucket was here,” Bucky says with a shrug. He catches the shirt Sam throws at him, wads it up into a ball, and chunks it right at Steve’s face. Steve drops off the chair he was standing on with a loud _oof!_

``

“Ok,” Bruce says into the camera, “I got called out for the ALS challenge, and here we are in a hopefully Hulk-proof training room in the Avenger HQ, and Iron Man is filming.” Tony swings the camera around to wave as furiously as the armor allows. “So minimal damage, I hope. Ok, let’s go.”

Bruce braces himself, fists clenched and eyes screwed tight. Tony just stands there, waiting. After a few seconds, Bruce cracks open an eye and starts to ask, “Tony, what are you—SHIT!”

Tony flings the bucket at him, and Bruce transforms just about faster than Tony has ever seen. Water splashes all over the place, and the bucket hits the ground with a loud _thunk_ in the otherwise silent room. The Hulk, hands thrown up over his head, slowly blinks through his fingers. “Huh,” he says a moment later. “That not so bad. Now time for Pretty Boy Prince and Cupid.”

“That would be Thor and Hawkeye,” Tony clarifies for the viewers. “You know, I figured this video would be a lot more eventful than—AHHHH!”

The Hulk grabs Iron Man’s arm and flings him through the wall of the room. He leans into the camera. “Not bothered by the cold, but Hulk still doesn’t like surprises.”

``

“Greetings, my Midgardian followers,” Thor booms.

“Not so loud, Big Guy,” Darcy says, perched up on a ladder behind him. “I’m just a poor intern. My phone’s microphone isn’t that great.”

On her own ladder, Jane says, “And back up, Erik. The case isn’t waterproof, and I’m not buying her a new one. Go on, honey.”

Thor flashes her a blinding smile and says, “I have been called out by my teammate, the Hulk, and a prince of Asgard never backs down from a challenge. So I shall meet the frigid ice buckets head on, and I shall—“

Darcy and Jane exchange a look and dump their buckets. Thor jumps in surprise and just barely manages to stay on his feet. The two women laugh, and he slowly pushes his soaking hair from his eyes. “Ah,” he says plainly. “Not quite so bad as the frozen seas of Jotunheim.”

Then he grins, leaping up and grabbing the women around their waists. He darts over for the pool and leaps in. Darcy screeches right before they hit the water, “My mascara!”

``

“You’ve had a lot of bad ideas in your life, Clint,” Bobbi says, pulling up the camera on her phone. “This might be the worst.”

“You pronounced _best_ wrong,” Kate says, notching up an arrow. “This is his best idea. I get to dump a bucket of freezing water on his head, and I get to watch him scramble to put together a bail out bag and try to figure out where he’s going to go into hiding because he didn’t think it all through beforehand.”

Clint holds up a finger, ready to counter her. He stops and considers. “Shut up and start recording,” he declares.

Bobbi chuckles and thumbs the screen. “Ok, you’re on.”

“Hey, everybody, I’m Hawkeye, and I’m an Avenger. Yes, an Avenger. I have an ID card,” he says insistently, and Kate sighs loudly. “Yeah, so, I got challenged by the Jolly Green Giant for this ALS ice bucket challenge, and here we go. As you can see, above my head is the aforementioned ice bucket, held in place by a system of ropes. Because where’s the fun in any of this if someone isn’t getting to shoot an arrow? I guess that’s just the circus blood in me. Now, if my lovely assistant will—“

Kate looses the arrow. Clint clenches up as the frozen waterfall drenches him. “Gah,” he gurgles, spitting out the gallon or so that got into his mouth. “Why?”

“No one wants to hear your life story,” Kate says. “They just want to see you in a wet t-shirt.”

Lucky jumps around his feet, barking excitedly. Clint half-heartedly pushes him away. “No, you aren’t supposed to laugh at my misfortunes, you dumb mutt.” Lucky jumps up, licks at his face, and runs back to Kate, who scratches behind his ears.

“Traitor,” Clint mutters. “Anyway, now for the call out. You know her as that scary, deadly, red-headed Russian spy, but I know her as that scary, deadly, red-headed Russian spy who likes scrapbooks, Natasha Romanoff. And now if you will all excuse me I’m going to run away to some warm, tropical jungle where she hopefully will never find me.”

He turns and sprints away.

``

Natasha’s eyes narrow at the screen.

“Wow, did he just,” Maria Hill asks over Coulson’s shoulder. “I mean, I know he gets himself into ridiculously dangerous and outrageous situations all the time, but did he really just willingly invite this on himself?”

Fury sighs. “I lose more good people to fucking bullshit internet pranks than I do actual alien invasions and Nazi world domination conspiracies.”

“He’s still got some use to him, Natasha, so go easy on him, please,” Coulson says. They all turn around to look at her, but Natasha is already gone.


End file.
